if i were to be a body or part of water... i'd like to be tears... *salty droplets of emotional truth...*

the other day,.. i chatted with someone... i told him i didn't like my name.. he didn't understand why... i told him numerous reasons why i didn't like it... he suddenly told me that i think too shallow... i was somehow struck by what he said... i know deep inside.. there are a few reasons.. few deep and too personal reasons why i didn't like my name... our conversation ended up by him telling me that at least i'm not like *one of our batch mates...*


i was about to sleep... i didn't feel sleepy yet so i played a game in my phone... while playing... i was thinking of what i would write about in my next entry... while playing, i was thinking... am i really that shallow?... memories of the past began pouring in... all the hurtfull words and actions... misjudging by people... people like "X" who brought lots of pain...

suddenly... i just found myself with lots of *salty droplets of emotional truth...* ... i was lost in my thoughts that i didn't even notice my eyes being dampened by tears... it seems like I've kept a lot inside... i just notice that i already lost in the game i was playing in the phone...

maybe i am shallow... to the point that I'm still not dense no matter what has happened to me... i still hold on to the memories shared with people... still hoping to find the pieces that fell from me and be able to be my old self again... not being able to express myself at some point... and still be hurt by simple actions and blunders made by people...

i've become this person i am now... all because of the experiences I've had... that made... forced me to become mature at a young age...

yeah... this is me... shallow,... useless... inept... pathetic... vague... equivocal... elusive...

everything worse... everything you wouldn't want to be...

hypothetically.... just try living my life... and let's see...